I give you my colours to see you smile…

I sit by the window. I look at the starry sky. I glance at the calender. March 15th it read. I smile. My eyes, teary. Soon, i found myself walking down the memory lane. A bottle spinning around on the table only to stop pointing towards me. I flush. He smiles. I could read his mind. He had the question ready. Ready to utter the words, only waiting for me to choose truth or dare. I say “dare” and wink at him.

The game being over, he came over to me. Whispered into my ears,” would my lady favour me with a dance?” And that night we danced till our feet ached. He kneeled down before me. We had a wonderful evening. He carried me down the stairs of our college auditorium and then we walked home, hand in hand, teasing each other and laughing. Suddenly he stopped. He looked away, he was crying. But he would never accept that. But then he asked me, ” what would you like to change in me?”
I kept silent. He did not want answers that night. He just wanted to love me. And he did that. He told me ” i love you and i would never leave you alone.” I promised him, ” I will be there for you even if you are not around. And i promise to keep promises till the end of my life, till the end of my love”

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Those were the days of innocence, mad love, unconditional kisses. We found some eternal happiness in each other. We found joy in each other. And maybe , just may be… we had found love!

Hours passed only to find myself embraced in his love, affection and care. Time stopped and so did my heart beat. All i wanted was to stare into his lovely eyes, forever. Every second my subconscious warned me of the blade i was walking on. But i preferred bleeding to death than to wake up from this dream. And when i really did wake up, i found i had messed up lives. He was my love but there was someone out there waiting for my commitment. And considering the responsibility, i walked out of his life. The chains he had bonded me with bit deep into my skin. He was broken. So was i. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t. But i had promises to keep.

I was long gone,trying to make things work. And he. I had no clue. He was burried in my heart under responsibilities, promises and practicality. I was left with some memories. I never got the chance to unturn the stone. To discover whether that was really love. I was confused. I remained confused. Now i am a confused but dedicated lover. He was a past. Untill that day.

I noticed him round the corner of the street. My heart pounced. I was eager to see him once again. Just once again. Adore him from the distant way and i would go back. I should have known i am very bad in controlling emotions. He knew. He saw me. Waved. And started walking towards me. I was stoned and that to without a single marijuana dose. He was the drug. And i was addicted to it. He came forward only to hug me. And i broke into tears in his arms. I was still dedicated to someone else. But deep down i knew i loved him still. Realizing the consequences of the situation, i gained back my conscience. But i made sure to have a look at his ring finger. It was empty. Looked into his eyes. He smiled. As if he knew what i was thinking. I was stunned.

He asked, ” and you?”
“Still keeping promises” , i said and smiled.

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addy

Copyright ©2015 Aditi Raha.
All rights reserved.

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